Thinking of You (again)

I’ve found myself crying in my bed again.
It’s late,
I’m tired,
and I know I promised I wouldn’t let myself,
But as I sit here
unable to stop the flush
I find myself thinking of you

I am crying in my bed
thinking of you.
And i know its late
And i know i'm tired
But I can’t seem to get rid of you
No tincture has been strong enough,
No boy either...

I am up late crying.
I think I’m crying because I know you're not.
I am crying because I do not haunt you as you haunt me.
You were able to take me for all I was,
and then leave.
You left me.
And you didn't even let me say goodbye.

And I am up late crying because you are never coming back.
I am crying because I wasn’t enough.
I wasn’t enough for you to care about,
Because if i was you wouldn’t have left.
If I was, I would haunt you.
If I was, I would be happy with myself and not cry over someone who doesn’t think of me.

But I find myself crying in my bed.
Everyday I am reminded that you exist
Everyday I am reminded that you are doing perfectly fine without me in your life.
I never needed you in mine, until you put yourself there.
And I don’t need you anymore, as you never needed me.
I barely remember you.
And now I find myself crying, over what never could have been.