If They Only Knew....

If they only knew what I was going through,

If they could see my thoughts as well.

Would they still be "So proud of me",

If they could see some days that I still miss hell?

If they only knew that all day today,

I wanted to get high so bad that I cried.

Will they tell me everything will be ok,

and wipe the tears out from under my eyes?

Or would they tell me that they think I'm crazy,

to even fantasize about going back.

After all the years I've already wasted,

walking those penitentiary yard tracks.

If they only knew that I too get confused,

why got went and made me this way.

Why he imprisoned me while most others walk free,

from that jail cell inside our brains.

I saw an article this morning,

about a man that was an addict like me.

He took wanted out of that prison,

but his mind wouldn't give up the key.

So he found his escape through a similar fate,

I've contemplated too often myself.

Freedom granted from a handgun,

and executed by a .32 caliber shell.

I prayed for him and his family,

and afterwards I prayed for me.

Because some days battling my addiction,

that seems like the only way I'll ever stay clean.