Still Missing You

Everyday, for 32 to years, I always spoke to you.
But now, I'm forced to live my life especially anew.
Three years have gone by since I last heard your voice.
And I still feel as if my heart is being destroyed.
I never would of guessed, it would be this hard.
As I put being without you, in disregard.
At nights I feel ambivalent ,when my dreams are with you,
And always hoping I'll wake up and still see you.
But I'm always let down when reality kicks in.
That another day is to live without you and so painful to comprehend.
My life is different now and so am I.
I've had to relearn everything that I thought I knew in life.
Only this time,without you, being by my side.
It's hard some days and then some days seem better,
But the bad days are hard, almost too hard to endeavor.
I still get angry that you were taken away.
And how much I feel like I've been betrayed.
But I realize that these things had to happen for me to grow.
And to get to know myself only by being alone.
Maybe missing you will get better in time.
Maybe this mountain will get easier and less difficult to climb.
However this journey ends up to be,
I'll take every step still wishing you were right next to me.