A Letter to My Trauma

i need you
even though you hurt me
and leave me damaged
because without you
i don’t know who i am anymore
and if i let you go
i let them get away with what they did
and they deserve to suffer
just as much as i did
just as much as i do
even though i know
they don’t care
if i stay vindictive
then at least someone remembers
the things they did to me
and if i don’t forget
then no one can pretend
that the things they did to me
had no effect on me
and even though i know
i’m the only one hurting
even if i’m the only one hurting
at least i know i’m alive.