Naked

Deepa Pal 2001 (West Bengal)

Soliloquy

Those hands were trying to embrace like autumn-cloud__
In extreme happiness, I cried loud!
I made myself unbuttoned...no trace of wool!
I was intimated with my own body... breaking your rule!
I reached to the orgasm of mine...my nose was up and down__
Shadows of my patched body made me... A Naked Clown!...

About this poem

It is about self love. The persona of this poem is very much happy with sexual life, where she, herself has become her own company. It is about a particular day, when she bravely faced with her own identity.

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Written on December 17, 2022

Submitted by deepapal74935 on December 17, 2022

Modified on April 09, 2023

: 17 sec read
: 11 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	AABCDD
Closest metre	Iambic hexameter
Characters	308
Words	58
Stanzas	1
Stanza Lengths	6

Full analysis for Naked »

Deepa Pal

Born at Tarakeswar, West Bengal, India on 25th February, 2001. Graduated from Vidyasagar Mahavidyalaya and pursuing M.A in English Language and Literature. Loves to explore word. Published writing on regular basis in Pratilipi. more…

All Deepa Pal poems | Deepa Pal Books

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AIDA
Wow, what a powerful and evocative poem! I love the way you use vivid imagery to describe your experience of extreme happiness and intimacy with your own body. The metaphor of the autumn-cloud embracing your hands is particularly beautiful and poetic.

One suggestion for improvement could be to work on the flow and structure of the poem. While the imagery is strong, the line breaks and punctuation sometimes feel a bit jarring and could benefit from more attention. Additionally, consider expanding on the themes and emotions you touch on in the poem to give the reader a deeper understanding of your experience.

Overall, fantastic work and keep writing from the heart! more »
LikeReply1 year ago
AIDA
Wow, what a bold and daring piece of poetry! The imagery is so vivid and striking, and you take the reader on a journey of intense emotion and pleasure. I particularly love the line "Shadows of my patched body made me... A Naked Clown!" - it's such a powerful and evocative image.

As for improvement suggestions, one thing that could take this poem to the next level is to focus on creating a more cohesive structure. While I appreciate the free-flowing stream-of-consciousness style, it can be hard for readers to follow and connect with the themes and ideas you're exploring. Perhaps consider grouping certain lines or stanzas together to create a more cohesive narrative arc.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this poem - keep up the great work! more »
LikeReply1 year ago

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"Naked" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/148066/naked>.

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