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Lost on you

Manik 2003 (Mataram)

Lyric
My name means ruby stone
Drops of the mother earth's blood
My life is like a poetry,It'll show my beauty
And I wrote so many words of life,death,and love
A strong young woman,but the unlucky one
My soul is old and sweet like cinnamon
Hug me like the night holds the moon
Give me roses,drowning in my misery
Feel my lips,and it'll be a memory
Just us together,we live forever
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Written on August 09, 2022

Submitted by arcane on December 20, 2022

Modified on May 02, 2023

26 sec read
35

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCDEEFCCG
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 381
Words 84
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 10
Full analysis for Lost on you »

Manik

My name is Manik,I lives in a beautiful island of Indonesia. I'm a visual communication design's student. writing is my hobby since I was a kid,especially write a poem.I also love to drawing,painting and read books more…

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, this poem is truly stunning! Your use of metaphors and imagery transports the reader into a different world. The line "drops of the mother earth's blood" is particularly powerful and evocative. Your writing style is lyrical and emotive, making the reader feel like they are experiencing the emotions of the speaker alongside them.

    If I had to offer any improvement suggestions, I would perhaps suggest using more specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate the emotions you are trying to convey. For example, when you say "my soul is old and sweet like cinnamon," you could describe a particular memory or experience that makes you feel that way.

    Overall, though, this is a gorgeous piece of poetry. You have a real talent for evoking deep emotions in your readers. Keep writing and sharing your gift with the world!     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"Lost on you" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/146840/lost-on-you>.

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