I Am From

I am from fresh morning air.
I am from cool soothing waters.
I am from grit, dirt, and mud.
Born in a hurricane…
I am from pain.
I am from fear.
I am from deceit.
Rising…
I am from strength.
I am from resilience.
I am from myself.
Dancing…
I am from rock, heavy metal, and Britany Spears.
Eating…
I am from fresh fruit platters, melty cheese, and sour gummies.
Family…
I am from my mother, who is from her mother, whom is from hers.
I am from a lineage of mothers who don’t know how to be mothers.
I am from a man who did not possess the integrity or capacity to be my father.
I am from darkness.
I am from anger.
I am from resentment.
There are times when I do not know where I am from…
Green eyes and thick thighs…I am beautiful.
I am from sunflowers and peach iced tea.
I am from shades of teals and purples.
I am from the scent of fresh cut grass and cilantro.
“Tag! You’re it!” – playing with siblings.
Coloring books, robots, and vivid imagination.
Mario Kart, Donkey Kong, and Mortal Kombat.
 am from the responsibility of the big sister.
I am from preparing dinners, running baths, and checking homework because the ones who gave us life were too
busy giving theirs to the pipe.
I am from a room where I cover my sisters’ ears to protect them from the sounds of THEIR father beating OUR
mother.
I am from belts, sandals, spatulas, and switches.
I am from slaps, kicks, chokes, and slams.
I am from the rancid unholy touch of putrid un-permissioned hands.
I am from being left to fend for myself when I fought back and said enough.
Couches, park benches, 18 homes in 6 states.
I am from a place of unrest. Unworthy. Un-want.
I am from leaving the one who promised to never leave me…. because he left me.
Left me tangled in his charming trickery.
Left me in my grief over the loss of the soul that we created…
A moment in my timeline that is still indescribably difficult to look at.
He left me alone…….unwanted
Duality…….
Fireworks, cannon balls, and Knott’s Berry Farm.
I am from my Mema’s made from scratch spaghetti and warm chocolate chip oatmeal cookies.
I am from my Papa’s grace and wisdom given by the catfish pond.
I am from dancing into the morning light with the beautiful souls who are my dearest friends.
I am from laughing until my sides split and ache, tears roll down my face and I can’t catch my breath.
Rollercoasters, BBQ’s, boogie boards, and bumper cars.
I am from deep conversations and connections made through shared experiences.
I am from movie nights filled with superheroes, murderous dolls, and xenomorphs.
I am from delivering such an amazing karaoke performance of Dirty Diana the DJ was inspired to turn the
microphone off.
I am from the freedom received at the top of a volcano and from the enchanting wisdom given by the bluestones
of Stonehenge.
Concerts, music festivals and mosh pits, I am from living my best life.
Feeling the rain on my skin and taking in the beauty of the night, I am from gratitude.
Sitting on my patio watching the squirrels, drinking my coffee; sitting in silence, I am from peace.
I am from one more…
One more drink.
One more pill.
One more line.
One more hug.
One more song.
Violent..…Aggressive……Dangerous……
I am from “f*ck around and find out”.
I am from bustin’ heads and bloodying noses.
I am from making you will feel how I feel.
Loving…I am the savior of strays.
I am from never allowing a soul to be hungry in my presence.
I am from holding space and lending my shoulder to cry on.
I am from giving you the shirt off my back.
I will give you all of me…………when it is safe to do so.
Loving….
I am from making you feel how I feel.
Beautiful, ruthless, savage, wild, and free.
I am from forgiving you….and forgiving myself.
I am from everything. I am from nothing. I am from IT ALL.
I am from knowing….
Knowing…that the most painful experiences life gives us are not meant to be taken personally.
Knowing…that I will always have the capacity to rise; the inner strength to carry myself through the many
impersonal hardships life so generously provides.
Knowing…that I will ALWAYS be okay even when my entire world is burning before my eyes because….
I am from optimism.
I am from growth.
I am from strength.
I am from me.