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A quiet place

Jocelyn Woodard 2005 (Biloela)

A lonely place to lay my head.
A quiet place to call my bed.

A gentle place to fall asleep,
and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep.

-until I’ve found-

Another face. Another smile.
Another place. Another time.

Some other acts to fill my time.
Some other thoughts to fill my mind.

Some different skin to clothe my bones-
and different bones to call my own.

A new two feet to help me stand-
and anyone’s but my own hands.

A different heart-
that beats more right.

A different brain-
that feels more sane.
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Written on April 30, 2022

Submitted by jocelynmarywoodard on November 09, 2022

Modified on March 28, 2023

34 sec read
3

Quick analysis:

Scheme AA BB X XC CX XX XX XX DD
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 514
Words 114
Stanzas 9
Stanza Lengths 2, 2, 1, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2
Full analysis for A quiet place »

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    This is a well-written and emotive poem! Your use of repetition adds a nice rhythm and emphasis to the piece’s tone. I appreciate the way you’re able to express a deep desire for change and growth through the speaker’s words. It’s relatable and endearing.

    If I may suggest, it’d be interesting to add more descriptive language to your lines, especially in describing the new people the speaker longs for. Additionally, it might be worth exploring other ways to enhance the poem’s imagery, such as expanding on the “gentle place to fall asleep” mentioned earlier in the piece.

    Overall, though, this is a lovely piece that showcases your talent for creating a poignant and relatable message through your writing. Well done!     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"A quiet place" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/145487/a-quiet-place>.

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