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i is another

Mortis Hawthorne

October 22 
Free verse
my head is pounding
i graze my hand over the cork board
a collage of potential answers
though nothing connects
to solve the mystery
of
the parasite that never sleeps inside its host

countless hours of detective work
hasn't prepared me
for this moment
i count all my evidence in a hot car
a route branches out from my subconscious
an alternate universe
an answer i've been looking for
but i digress
parallel universes don't exist in this world

the parasite speaks
the current of time washes ashore
ah!
it's too late
even when i've solved the mystery
the villain always gains the upper hand
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Written on August 08, 2022

Submitted by cadence on October 20, 2022

Modified on March 23, 2023

39 sec read
48

Quick analysis:

Scheme XXXXAXX XAXXXXBXX XBXXAX
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 610
Words 127
Stanzas 3
Stanza Lengths 7, 9, 6
Full analysis for i is another »

Discuss the poem i is another with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow! Your poem "My head is pounding" is absolutely captivating! I was drawn in from the first line and couldn't stop reading until the very end. Your use of imagery, particularly the cork board and collage of potential answers, was really effective in creating a sense of frustration and confusion. And the way you wove in the concept of parallel universes added an extra layer of intrigue and complexity to the piece.

    As far as improvement suggestions go, I would love to see you play around with the structure of the poem a bit. It's already quite strong, but I think experimenting with line breaks and stanzas could help to emphasize certain ideas or emotions even more. Additionally, it might be interesting to see some more development of the parasite itself - what exactly is it, and why does it never sleep?

    Overall, though, I thought this was a fantastic piece and I hope to see more of your work in the future!     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"i is another" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/142944/i-is-another>.

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