A Deeper Me

                                       A Deeper Me

                     I sit here determined to jot down
                            Some lines for relaxation,
                           But a strange helplessness
                         Always bounces thru my head.
                      I want to write something brilliant   
                                            
                                           But still….                
                                                             nothing.

                          Only the sound of a silent cry.

                              So- I try a new approach.

         Free my mind of all sounds, thoughts, emotions.
           Yet, I still feel the faint sound move inside me.

                                  What does it mean?
                                 What does it scream?

             As I sit here staring down at my blank paper,
          I wish that the paper would fill itself with words.
                    Ones that take my mind off the now
                          Shrill scream inside my body.

                                               Ahhh…

                      The frustration grabs ahold of me
                        It pulls me into my harsh reality
                     Like a bucket of ice water washing
                                 Over my naked body.

          The memories stabbing at me without remorse.

                I blink…
                                       swallow…
                                                                 breathe deep

                          Each breath caresses my lungs
                        As a lover would caress my body.
                        Each breath gives life to my body
                       As my head takes on a new clarity.

                     The way every inch of my skin would
                                    If touched just right.

                 I’ve been mindlessly staring at my paper
                   And yet it slowly fills itself with words.
                  Words from way down deep inside me.

                     Once again, I sit here in amazement
                          That I wrote something that is
                                             ‘So me’

                         Straight from my heart to yours.