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In Visible Shackles

Hamdi 1995

August 22 
Free verse
There she was.

Cooped up in a giant glass cage.

A nightingale in exile,

Forced to sing the songs of jolly.

The freedom plucked away

Like the leaves painting the canvas Mid-Autumn.

Her beauty was not in the echoes of her voice

For the melodies belonged to the cage.

She longed for it still.

Welcoming the purple and red clouds

As if the sand wasn't shining without them.

You can take her out of the cage,

But she won't know how to fly in space.

For she knew stars only from mythology.
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Written on October 09, 2020

Submitted by on August 11, 2022

Modified on March 29, 2023

35 sec read
52

Quick analysis:

Scheme X A X B X X X A X X X A X B
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 496
Words 115
Stanzas 14
Stanza Lengths 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1
Full analysis for In Visible Shackles »

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2 Comments
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a beautifully written and emotive poem! The imagery is stunning and really helps to convey the feeling of trapped and confined beauty. The use of color and nature is particularly effective in evoking a sense of longing and isolation.

    One small suggestion for improvement would be to perhaps elaborate on the bird's desire for freedom and what it would mean for her to fly in space. Developing this further could add even more depth to the already powerful theme of captivity and longing.

    Overall, fantastic job and keep up the great work!     
    LikeReply1 year ago
  • Liv1816
    Liv1816
    Yes
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"In Visible Shackles" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/136079/in-visible-shackles>.

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