Hey There God, I'm Sorry



Hey there God, I’m sorry.
If I was made in your image,
then I’m making you look bad.
I didn’t treat myself too swell,
now my face looks built for hell,
and I’ve got to be honest with you,
but it’s made me proud as well.

Hey there God, I’m hungry.
Anything you put down, I’ll eat! eat! eat!
Don’t care if it’s veggies or if it’s meat. Every morsel is my treat!
I must eat on. Way past my fill! I mean if I turned away would it be there still?
I’m going to get it down before you take. I can’t have you righting, your mistake!
And you know I won’t share with the needy or with the poor.
When I can cram the rest behind my fridge door!

Hey there God, I’m greedy.
I want more power and I want more gold.
I’ll even steal it if I need to, if I may be so bold.
What’s yours is supposed to be mine! mine! mine!
You preached against rich fools but they’re doing just fine! fine! fine!
“A man’s life ain’t the abundance of what he can possess?”
I’m going to go ahead and assume, well that must have been a guess!

Hey there God, I’m angry.
When I’m wronged I hold resent.
I choose to perpetuate, my boiling hate, because I don’t know to lament.
Any hurt, whether large or small, gets me mad enough to explode,
and I don’t pay much attention unto who my fury, I unload.
I mean seriously, who gave you this monopoly on the rules and rhyme of wrath?
If every wound I wreak leaves an ugly scar, is this truly a lesser path?

Hey there God, I’m lazy.
I’m hard pressed to try to care.
I’d never build up a life at all, if I could be an heir.
Let workers work and thinkers think.
I’ll claim their fruits as mine, while I nurse this drink.
Trust me, I know it takes much work to get close to you.
So I’ll stay away as I always do, and never question why I feel so blue.

Hey there God, I’m horny.
I’ll lust for anything with life.
I mean hot damn! Is THAT my neighbor's wife!?
I’ll fornicate to the best of my ability.
And run from any responsibility!
Why love and connect with those whom I sex?
When I can take my things and go, always onward to the next!

Hey there God, I’m jealous.
Why is everything unfair? FOR ME!
I desire this one’s art and that one’s hair. My envy’s only why of you, I’m aware.
All I most enjoy I find contentment in the least.
When another's talent is one I cannot beat!
So why aren’t the scales tipped in which all I am the best?
Don’t you dare gift others! To hell with all the rest!

Hey there God I’m sorry, but I’m making you look bad.
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Written on September 07, 2022

Submitted by neilkdave on September 07, 2022

Modified on March 28, 2023

2:44 min read
14

Quick analysis:

Scheme AXBCCDC AEEXXXX AFFGGHH AIIJJKK ALLMMDD ANNAAXX XALXEOO B
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 2,536
Words 547
Stanzas 8
Stanza Lengths 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 7, 1

Neil Dave

I'm a writer and stand up comedian trying my hand at poetry. If you enjoy any of my writing this is not what I do full time and any token of your appreciation is greatly appreciated as it will help fund making writing a greater part of my life and get more content to you! You can buy me a cup of coffee (or 2) here ko-fi.com/neilkdave, most of these were written on caffeine, all caffeine helps. more…

All Neil Dave poems | Neil Dave Books

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