Void of the Night Sky

The yesterday I knew became a part of me
It’s as though all my fears were borne into one
And the mistakes I made stacked up to the highest height
The only positive being that they were illuminated with the stars
But the dense void of the night sky acted as camouflage
And my errors became known only to me
Then they became as daylight, blinding, unbearable
Whistling raucously in my left ear, from the height of my shoulder
Its casual surveillance ensured I would never put a foot wrong.
I never quite understood the depths to which I could fall
But it’s only as I lie looking skyward that I see the chasm that surrounds me
The craggy faces in the rocks sneering down on me
Leaving me crushed in spirit and in body
Yet the spirit doesn’t have a body
And the body doesn’t have a spirit
So how do I find myself crushed in both?
Is it for nothing I have suffered?
The blue black sky is darker than I remember
The pinholes provide me with a sense of hope
But the sense I know is fleeting and wanes likes the crescent of the moon
I remain convinced that time moves in more than one direction
And just as alphabets vary from one border to the next
Is not time the alphabet of numbers?
And the simple realisation that those who take, have nothing
Yet those who give are rich
I feel hurt beyond understanding
And my reasoning has become like a stagnant glass of water
Fresh at one time, but lingering with distorted views
And cloudy past visibility
I don’t think I can take much more of this
And I have only one green eye
But a bitter tongue, set in full
And an appetite that will not be satisfied
Because the neon lights which are visible from this height
Are often cause for happiness and splendour
But they become dull and their blinking becomes an irritant
So that my eyes turn away and seek the shadows
And the trees that form a twisting, empty space
Simply for the love of one person
And the joy that they could have brought to young and old
But the decision to keep quiet and repel those closest
Is something no one could have predicted
I had hoped that when tomorrow arrives, I would not need to look back
But now I’m here, it’s the only direction I can see in.