Dark thoughts

Deep deep deep my head my heart  so deep o feeling of darkness un easy yet familiar such a heavy pressure crushed alone I am my dark why is there no light I can't see why why is there no future I can't breathe  this is torture  it hurts I'm hurt she's hurt its my fault why are you so stupidly blind all yet failed up yet down where is it what is this I can't I can't I can't I can't unbearable pressure rapid heart beating why won't this stop ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh jus do it end it selfish you idiot they need you I need you I hate you failure failure I can't it hurts you can bare through it you can you will no no no no stop red black more pressure shattered all of this is confusing black tunnel  of thoughts past further sinking is this real your not enough pain pain pain all pain all lost do it do it do it do it do it do it stooooooooooooooooooooop breathe on hold tight calm calm breathe find you find self find lost its gone I'm gone mental chaos back and forth screaming for silence black and red pouring from my heart black and red covers me get off go away straight shooter huh end end end end end stooooooooooop hard to swallow huh lol you fool ill never leave you know why  you know how failure stress end blocked torn down dragged into the black and red here again  i see why do you haunt me black and red red red red DEATH stoooooooop no more stop PLEASE PLEASE STOP tears so many tears built up built in inside can't show stay strong YOUR WEAK YOUR USELESS YOU SEE IT you know it down further down further down deep deep deep in my head my heart IM FINE IM GOOD I GOT THIS OK ITS OK BUT IS IT im done its all over just accept it embrace it  black and red from head to toe black and red still like water thick like honey bitter sweet thoughts remember remember calm collected chaos ..........................silence silence RED SILENT          DEEP
       DARK
   Shhhhhhh.