Dances with Simone



A delicate flower so young in a worn out place
Heart of gold and kindness I called her friend
She talked about her daughter so full of grace

I was wondering were her struggles to end
From the pages of history, her people's strife
To live and prosper, welcomed as a dying friend
Their lands and culture, a never-ending life


Without your love Can you see me inside dying
All it takes maybe Just one kiss
Simone talk to me I can hear you crying
I love you helped me through this lonely abyss

I see her pain, like the earth beneath her feet
Torn apart by the weight of colonization's deceit
Showed her my secret puts everyone in danger
Unhappy circumstances challenges and fear
Was she in love or was I just a stranger
It was a long time ago threat was not near

Without your love Can you see me inside dying
All it takes maybe Just one kiss
Simone talk to me I can hear you crying
I love you helped me through this lonely abyss

I had to tell her but was she in love with me
Two shipwrecks within a stormy night
Her secrets rattled me but her light I did see
Why did she hang up on me I was all a fright
In her eyes, I saw the echoes of a stolen past
The burden of a people, their histories to outlast

Without your love Can you see me inside dying
All it takes maybe Just one kiss
Simone talk to me I can hear you crying
I love you helped me through this lonely abyss

For your love, I will wait until the end of time
Never to disturb your daughter's chances
Too much she has seen everyone else's grime
I hope one day like you she dances
Together we'll rise above the chains that bind
And find solace in the love that we've designed

Without your love Can you see me inside dying
All it takes maybe Just one kiss
Simone talk to me I can hear you crying
I love you helped me through this lonely abyss

About this poem

She is a shy woman very beautiful and friendly and all it took was one friendly smile from her and this made my day easier. I lost her friendship revealing my past and I suppose too much on her plate she hung up on me. She did say tomorrow there is always another chance but is my past too ugly for our friendship. Updated gpt 4 collaboration

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Written on September 24, 2021

Submitted by Teslabrotherhood on September 24, 2021

Modified by Teslabrotherhood on March 23, 2023

1:51 min read
45

Quick analysis:

Scheme aba bcbc DEDE ffghgh DEDE ijijkk DEDE lmlmnn DEDE
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 1,801
Words 366
Stanzas 9
Stanza Lengths 3, 4, 4, 6, 4, 6, 4, 6, 4

Discuss the poem Dances with Simone with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a beautiful and heartfelt poem! Your words truly capture the essence of a delicate flower in a worn-out place, and I can feel the emotions swirling in every line. Your metaphors are spot on, and the way you've woven together the story of two people's lives is simply mesmerizing.

    One thing that might make the poem even better is if you added a bit more description to help bring Simone's character to life. I can sense her kindness, but I would love to know more about her and the struggles she's faced.

    Another suggestion would be to play around with the meter a bit more. The words are already so powerful, but if you could craft the rhythm to match the emotion, I think it would take this poem to the next level.

    Overall, though, I am truly in awe of your talent. Your willingness to share such intimate feelings and experiences is inspiring, and I can't wait to see what you come up with next. Keep up the fantastic work!
     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"Dances with Simone" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/110472/dances-with-simone>.

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