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HOW TO WIN A WORLD WAR: THE STEALTH RECONNAISSANCE PRAM



Early in the morning, the black beasts set out
They ride the rails to seek out prey,
Stealth fighters swooping along
In the twilight part of the day.

Winging ‘cross the town like hawks
Finding and destroying those they seek,
Designed to fight and win World Wars
Their enemies' chances are mighty bleak.

Rocket-launchers on both sides it seems
To blast away all opposition,
When wars are meant to fight and win
They have no real competition.

The stealth reconnaissance pram
Is a fearsome weapon of war,
Bulging with sacks to carry weapons
The finest fighting machine you ever saw.

It wages war on Melbourne's streets
Sending pensioners and invalids flying,
Strong men stand and quiver in fear
Small children run away crying.

The mighty machine has no real rival
As a machine of war, it stands alone,
But God help passengers on the bus
When the owner decides to take it home.

With one stealth reconnaissance pram
There's barely any room to move,
But when two machines clog the aisles
You know there's just no use:

You might as well get off and walk
And hope you get home fast,
As buses that are nearly empty
All keep zooming past.

With two stealth reconnaissance prams
Only half-a-dozen people can get aboard,
The death machines clog up the aisle
So the bus zooms past frustrated hordes.

Why must those going to and from work
Put up with these weapons of war?
Machines designed to fight and win
And as an afterthought have a baby aboard.

THE END
© Copyright 2021, Philip Roberts
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

About this poem

Fifteen years ago I had done my shopping and needed to get home. But because I had a shopping cart the bus driver tried to refuse me passage on the bus, saying, "We're too full for that thing [my shopping jeep]!" In fact the bus only had about 15 people aboard, but was crowded due to having two of those gigantic modern style prams aboard. The ones that women use more as a shopping trolley than for carrying a child. I have nothing against women bring a sensible, traditional style pram on a bus. But those gigantic, stealth-reconnaissance prams, should be banned from trams and buses. It is outrageous that the bus driver did not refuse them access to the bus, but after a long, hard day tried t0 refuse me access for having a shopping jeep, at most a third the size of either of the two gigantic, stealth-reconnaissance prams. 

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Written on 2006

Submitted by PHIL_ROBERTS on August 22, 2021

1:20 min read
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Phil Roberts

I am 64 and loves cats, rock music, and horror fiction and poetry more…

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    "HOW TO WIN A WORLD WAR: THE STEALTH RECONNAISSANCE PRAM" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 21 Oct. 2021. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/107620/how-to-win-a-world-war:-the-stealth-reconnaissance-pram>.

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