Make you stay

I feel lost in my own mind. Who i am becomes harder to find. The air that i breathe gets thicker with each breath i take. Each step harder and harder to take. For hours i lay in bed, catching no sleep as memories of you surge through my head. I miss you more than i ever thought i could. Why'd you have to go now when with every other battle you've stood? It hurt to see pictures of you with tears in your eyes and the look of tiredness on your face. And i cant help but to feel selfish wishing you were here but knowing you're in a better place. Anxiety is taking over me and i don't see an end in sight. So i lay here and cry to myself at night. Try to be strong because you wouldn't want me to be sad, but losing you was everything and it hurts me so bad. I go about my day with my head in the clouds just trying to get by.... But cannot help but continue asking God why? People say their sorry but the words don't ease no pain... It just reminds me it'll be a long time until i see your face again. No more phone calls or birthday songs to be sang.... And if i called you tomorrow no one would be able to answer the phone when it wrang. I love you so much grandma and it hurts to let you go away... I love you forever and wish love was enough to make you stay. -Eva Joy Blevins