How long with your lies

Hie

How've you been
How've you been doing lately
How's the body that you took from me
How's it fending
I guess that doesn't really concern me, does it
It's yours now
So it's probably something we shouldn't even talk about
So let's go to a common ground
Lets talk about your heart then
Let's talk about your feelings, healings and emotions
Let's talk about things you barely even notice
Like the heartbreak you keep ignoring
Why do you keep crying, lying to me
Saying that everything is perky and fine
When the tears on your cheeks say otherwise
Don't you think it's unfair for both of us to be suffering
I mean
Shouldn't you be the one who's happy
Smelling flowers and singing melodies on a daily basis
Shouldn't you be the one who sees beauty
In almost everything that walks on the Earth's surface
You shouldn't be doing this to me
I can see you breaking
Every time that you look into the mirror
I can see you breaking
Everytime you think about the flaws of love
I can see you breaking
Your morals constantly shifting
One day you're a saint, the other you're drug junky
I hate it, I hate that you can't be yourself again
The you that I fell in love with
The you that loved poetry not bigotry
The you that loved sanity not profanity
The same you, that loved life enough to hate suicide
You always keep a knife in your mind
I see it
How you walk around with it nowadays
Hidden from everything that makes you feel alive
I'm so afraid that you might stab me
I'm afraid that you might slit your wrists and have me watch your life disappear from your body
I'm afraid if I keep watching, if I keep watching, I might, I might just
Let's talk about something else
Let's talk about somebody else
In fact let's talk about me
Do you still remember anything about me
Does anything about me still make you smile or cry or just sigh
Maybe asking you if you still think about me is rather unconventional
I will ask you this though, are you still listening
Because back then you never gave me the benefit of attention
I was merely a distraction to your true intentions
I never could get the least of your affection
Could never look at me twice because you didn't like repetition
And you'd make the excuse that routine made you feel like a machine
What the hell does that even mean
I'm done pretending
I'm done being your desperate puppet
That you toy with everytime you're bored
And when you love someone else, I'm only there to be ignites
You carry me around you, not to love me
But to display my vulnerability
To display how weak I weak I can be for my affinity
And you celebrate as you slowly mortify me.
I hate to say this
Yet I pray you get this.
Your heart wants me.
You loved me and you still love me
But but I see your mind telling you things.
Things that leaves my heart in pieces
And yours creaming with an urge.
You are too smart to be seen with someone as me
Too beautiful for my undefined me
But why?
Why do you do this to us.
I hear you saying things
Things you only say to comfort yourself
Things you say to let me think I was wrong about us
Things you say to hide how much you need me.
I hear you saying things to make me think you are happier than before.
I hear you cry at night hiding in the dark.
I see you haven't been you for some time now
I feel the pain
The pain behind your smile.
You have made me insane and yourself a criminal.
Forgive me for asking how you have been
For I know exactly how you feel,
What you are putting yourself through.
But listening to your beautiful lies has slowly became my addiction.
And my mind never cease to wonder
How long will we go on like this?

Written By Kadot36