I hate being scared like that

*I hate being scared like that*

Is it something about me with people
Or is it something about people with me
Or is it just the way I feel about them
How I feel they feel about me
Or is it just plainly the way I feel!

Is it me; oh tell me it's not me
It's just I'm scared, I hate to be this scared

So I only get to know
And don't get close
I stay at an arm's length
Sometimes I'm carried away
But soon I'm getting a back
Our grounds drift apart
And I vainly try to hold on—
'Cause, you see, when I touch
When I hold, I can't easily let go.

I'm always scared, I hate being scared like that

So, though rarely, when close comes
I keep that close at a foot's length—
No touch, no hold, just a close
Still I'm scared, feels like I've my steps
On a long tight rope without ground left or right
And anytime I might miss a step
And put my foot on the wrong place.

I hate to be scared like that

I fear to be liked "because"
I don't like to be told
Because what if I don't maintain that "because"
And I don't want to maintain it
I want it to come and go as before— when it pleases
And I'm scared perhaps the way I want it
Isn't perhaps the way it works...

I hate to be scared like that

I hate praises, they make me feel like
The person caught me on tip-toe
And eventually my toes will tire
Or perhaps the person made a rash statement
And soon will make up the mind.

I'm just scared; can I be sure why?
Or whether I was scared first then the "why"
Or it was the "why" first then I became scared?

I hate being scared like that!