Analysis of the chewed pencil (part II of "the suitcase")



your black pupil eclipses the keyhole
from which the only light engraves

i feel the wanton search by which
your eyes shutter and pendulates

for now, the only momentary
proof that life is here –
is the cold breath that accompanies me

as the darkness conforms to the presence
of the temperature and cellophane
the emptiness by which this suitcase contains
is what is left from this dismantled day

i see the chewed pencil that has stayed
and maybe it’s the only vestige of what we have
so author whatever essence is left un-scribed

for words that bruised like a million stones
are not the same as those a page can hold

but i realize this pencil has a broken point
and i snap it like my broken moans

the pencil that i grasped cannot write
but …………………. it can still erase


Scheme XA XA BXB AXAC XXC AX XA XA
Poetic Form Etheree  (30%)
Metre 111001001 1101011 11010111 111001 11010100 11111 1011101001 1010011010 10100010 0100111101 1111110101 110110111 0101010101111 11010101111 111110101 1101110111 111011010101 011111101 010111101 111101
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 765
Words 142
Sentences 2
Stanzas 8
Stanza Lengths 2, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2
Lines Amount 20
Letters per line (avg) 31
Words per line (avg) 7
Letters per stanza (avg) 77
Words per stanza (avg) 18
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Submitted on May 01, 2011

Modified on March 05, 2023

42 sec read
2

apple_one

i once read a poem by neruda, and it touched me to a point that propoelled my interest. and then i read althuzer by vicente huidobro whereby a man parachuted from the sky and the world unfolded into his poetic epic and it took me to a different place different from my ignorant geography of poetry. but then jorge luis borges blew my mind and made poetry not only about truth but utter sublime fiction amidst an exploded horizon- boundless literature off a free falling cliff and the only thing to do was grow wings in midair and take the ride. more…

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