Analysis of My Divided Cycle
To breathe again. When will this end? I say as I lay in the tub enjoying this warm water falling
I’m sorry for acting so unappreciative. I understand I have the privilege of coming home again. Some don’t get to go to bed without fearing they’ll be dead when the morning comes. I hate how unhappy I’ve become
Oh, I long to smell the sweet pleasant scent of the lilacs I’m able to see beside me. These wondrous melodies can easily reach my eardrums but won’t fill the dopamine I’m severely lacking
I could touch and feel all my skin desires yet a smile couldn’t form when it’s acquired. The many tastes of sweet, savory, salty, and sour my tongue remembers then I forget to gracefully devour
My soul is such a coward
Laughters the best medicine. It’s not healing me though. Still, it’s something I experience before and after each tear flow
Oh, I love my mother. I didn’t have to grow up without a child’s rightful gain. So why do I suddenly wonder and hunger for some invisible trauma? Curiosity aims to kill when our thinking heart’s in vain. I don’t deserve a fairytale ending and neither to feel undeserving
I could go to the mall or play in a yard and drive a car while following directions on my phone waiting for some form of comfort and the known. It’s not the best but it’s also not the worst. Is it a blessing disguised as a curse or am I just a horrible person?
My soul remains sad and angry
One day I could wake up and live
Another I could die but today I’ll simply exist
How some survive is far beyond me
I cry and I panic uncontrollably
Life is a miracle and the worlds a gift
Almost everyone and everything in it
I’m a monster for not moving to clarity and exercising faith seems to escape me
I don’t know what to think, say, do, or feel, and how
I’m lost and confused, stuck behind the crowd
The answers are right in front of me but I don’t see anymore
I shouldn’t even be allowed to hear, feel, smell, and taste either
My brain; it hurts
My feelings are painful
My bones are intact and my health isn’t fateful
To breathe again. When will this end? I say as I lay in the tub enjoying this warm water falling…
| Scheme | A x a b x x a x c x x c c xxcxxxbxdd A |
|---|---|
| Poetic Form | |
| Metre | 1101111111111001010111010 11011011101110101101011111111011011110101111010101 1111101101101110110111101001100111111010101010 111011110101011111010010111100100101101011011100010 1111010 10110011101111101010001010111 11111011111101011011111100100101101001001001111101010111010101001011010 1111011100101011100010111101111100011101111010111010011011111010010 11011010 11111101 01011110111001 110111011 1101100100 11010000101 11001001 1010111011000100111011 111111111101 1100110101 010110111111101 111010111110110 1111 110110 11101011110 1101111111111001010111010 |
| Characters | 2,187 |
| Words | 420 |
| Sentences | 19 |
| Stanzas | 15 |
| Stanza Lengths | 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 10, 1 |
| Lines Amount | 24 |
| Letters per line (avg) | 69 |
| Words per line (avg) | 17 |
| Letters per stanza (avg) | 111 |
| Words per stanza (avg) | 27 |
About this poem
I randomly came up with a certain melody as I was laying under the running water of our shower head a little past midnight. I couldn’t get the ongoing rhythm out of my head so I took my phone and wrote while still in my tub. (Most of my poems were not only written at night but also “out of nowhere”…I call them all a collection of •Late Night Clarity• -the hours in which my subconscious comes out to play) I meant for this poem to be in the form of a song so it might not flow as well reading it directly especially since only I have an idea of what it sounds like but I hope it’s worthy enough anyways. My mind is a racing maze. I fight a battle each day at every twist and turn. I know trauma can take place in a bunch of different ways, small or big, but due to living a fairly stable lifestyle; I can’t seem to find the cause of these awfully “specific” thoughts and feelings. Here we go again… more »
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"My Divided Cycle" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 13 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/161171/my-divided-cycle>.
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