Analysis of Once I Was a Hardened Soldier

Imagine a grey world
Where it only rains ash
The clouds are black
And the ground is like powder
The winds stir up an aftermath
Of victory and of power

Yet...only defeat remains
Only those strong enough
To sail those winds of change

But look out now
Through the windows of your mind
And you'll see blue skies
With yellow sunshine

You'll see such a world doesn't exist
There is no black and no grey
There are no winds sailing me
Pushing me to a change

Only my mind has a fog of war
And I'm stuck inside
A skeleton key around my neck
And echos of lost goodbyes

I sift through the debris
And I find myself
Bloodied and bruised
Yet still fighting, Breathing
Telling myself to pull through

I'll never surrender
I'll never quit
Once I was a hardened soldier
But now where do I fit?

I can't let go of those lost
And appease the ghosts I live with...
Bury these faces that haunt my eyes
And sing me memories for a night lullaby

Does that mean I'm weak?
And drown in the water underneath the bridge?
Am I unfit to wear the honor?
Bearing a weight
Of the regret from the things I did...

Or didn't do
What I could have
Should of done
Is being blinded by the ash
From the black clouds hiding my yellow sun

Once I was a hardened soldier