Analysis of Fighter

You keep saying that I'm the one that wants to fight but you dont shut up.
You keep picking fights talking, yelling whatever to try and get me to fight back.
How many times you've called me a whore, kept talking when I've wanted peace for a minute to stop the fuse,  I can't keep track.

You yell and scream, you love the fight then pin it on me.
I want you to open your eyes wide and see.
But you're blind.
You've left this all behind.
You pushed me to these limits, you can't rewind.
It's a fight you want, I never want it I wish you could see it in your mind.
You know all the right buttons to press.
You call me names get loud and it amps up my stress.

I'm no angel I never said I was: that I confess.
I wanna be my best.

You hold me back.
Hold me back from what I used to be.
No anger in site always love and hospitality.
Now you give me hostility,
You're killing me.

I used to never yell,
Used to be laid back and chill.
Now I'm nothing but anxious, and this life: I cant embrace it.
I'm no longer strong, I'm no longer fit.
I no longer have a brain or wits.

Stop the yelling, just stop the fucking yelling.
It could've calmed the storm,
But you live in the storm so you like when it's hot or warm.
You hate the cold or chill weather.
Blame everything on me I'm used to it, it's whatever.

I like to calm down but you mash every button like its mortal Kombat.
You think I'm the psycho, but look inside yourself and you'll see what made me that.

Its always back and forth its your fault no its yours.
Taking a moment to cool the steam and than talking: that's what's my cure.
I've told you time and time again to leave me alone and let me relax.
You push me till I see red and that's facts.

Know we both failed and this was so toxic.
It was good while it lasted.
We took a good thing and blasted it.

You say I've wasted 8yrs of your life, but know you didnt waste mine. 
I've had amazing times I wish you seen when I was trying.
But I'm just supposed to be fine.

I wanted to help you, show love, and show you my light.
I just want a good night.
The light got blown out and I failed to show you the best me I could be.
I am sorry that I caused you misery.
Now I'm stuck with no one , only myself and hostility