Analysis of Waiting

Another night I lay here alone crying, Wondering what is in store for me.
What have I done to deserve this misery,
Pain constantly wracking my body.
It's hard to find the hope,
Even harder to find ways to cope.
I cry to myself all the time looking at you,
And you don't even notice or care to.
I have never had my heart broken so bad,
I've never felt such pain, no wonder I'm sad.
I cry at walmart or going down the street,
If I could change anything we wouldn't meet. I'm just waiting.. waiting for you to change, Because I still have a life to arrange.
I've always wanted you to be a part of it,
I just didn't plan for this shit.
I can't sleep now because of the pain in my back,
Sommetimes I get so angry I want to attack.
I never wanted to be this way.
Angry, vengeful, suicidal, pain wracked, or mean.
I was a friendly person, now I don't want to be seen.
I hide in my room and curse when I have to come out.
This isn't what life should be about.
My patience is fading, and my love wearing thin.
I just want to feel normal again.
I won't always be here waiting,
Eventually I will stop giving in.
For all that I've forgiven,
This isn't the life I should be living.
But it is the life I have now,
And I will overcome it somehow.