Blues on a Train



Those mighty wheels of steel
rolling down the tracks
Im playing blues for real
keepin time with the clickety clack
Im lost in the music as we roll along
Playin my harps goin from song to song
so lost was I at 3 am a crowd gathered
to hear my jam
Brothers and sisters of the rail
joined together by blues
as we sail on down the line
Blowin those harps
My foot tappin time
I musta played two hours or so
I never knew they were there
when I was done they wondered away
The music was the glue that bound us there
a moment  in wailin blues and love
never saw them folks again
But Ill never forget that night
when strangers became brothers
and it seemed so right
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Submitted by papapoet1952 on May 14, 2021

Modified on March 05, 2023

39 sec read
5

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABACDDEFGHIJKLMNMOPQRQ
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 635
Words 131
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 22

Daniel Wintermeyer

just an old hippie who expresses himself in rhyming more…

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1 Comment
  • sofia_o
    Hi, I liked the first part a lot (till "jam"), as well as the idea. Then it starts to lose its rhythm and in a couple of instances the expression is more prosaic than it should. Also there is no culmination to the ending, it's losing its purpose.
    However I believe the first part is really strong, the rythm is strong and almost recreates the rythm of the wheels of the train and the music that was played. I believe it needs some more work, but beautiful theme, great rythm! 
    LikeReply2 years ago

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"Blues on a Train" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/99986/blues-on-a-train>.

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