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Humourous lament for the bride.



Humorous lament for a bride.

So, you’ve been swept off your feet by a `knight on a white charger`.
have a care, this slim frame, over the years will become much larger!
The `horse` on whose back he was sitting has been consistently strong,
his poor old mum has endured the `saddle and stirrups`,for too long,
he`s been living at home where unnecessary issue have been `aborted`,
conveniently pushed out of sight, until they can, at a later date, be sorted.
That smart, confident look he portrays, with large `cheesy` grin`,
those razor sharp creases in his trousers hide the contents within!?
You’ve seen him at his `best`, never had to experience the `other side`,
whereby he says he’s working late at the office and casually lied,
the `dapper` looks, the doleful eyes ,that could soon move to tears,
a wiser `female of the species`, with a `story` of woe over the years.
The picking and plucking of various orifices and other disgusting habits,
despite the `aspirin excuse` ,you’ll be expected to `be at it` like rabbits!
Now, sadly, gone are the carefree days, when you went out with the `girls`,
the `puppy dog tails`, the sweet party dresses, patent shoes and the `curls`.
Alas, `tis not looking good, you’ll be condemned to a life of sheer gruel,
tending this `fragile thing`, like a greedy open fire , consistently needing fuel,
a daily existence of `making ends meet, robbing Paul to pay Peter`,
(he’ll fritter money away in the `bookies`, leaving none for the meter!)
His dirty old socks and smelly underwear have to be frequently boiled,
removing the stains on his shirttails which he, in a drunken stupor, messily soiled!?
I`d like to try to say something positive, to give you some hope,
but it`s like a 3 legged `nag`, at the back of the field, `tanked up` with `dope`,
So, what’s to be done, let’s try hard to make the best of a bad lot,
at the end of any sentence(jail term?)there’s invariably a dot!
When you finally leave the office, switch off the lights, lock the door,
`THIS IS YOUR LIFE`I wish you contentment-please get up off the floor!

Jennifer Kersey 25/7/2009.

(written `tongue in cheek`-not to,in any way, diminish the union of two human beings in the solemnity and majesty of marriage)
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Submitted by paintedlady on April 30, 2021

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