The Game

it's not right
something I said i'd never do
something I made a vow against
it's not right
to lean on a cane
while walking upright
then, putting the cane aside
it's not right
to tell them I love them
when moments before
I was touching somebody else
it's not right
to play this game
of commitment and honesty
when all I do is lie
about where I am, who i'm with
'til the lies circulate my brain
and I forget my last sham
it's not right
to be in love
yet adoring fun and spice
the sparkle in his eye
the muscles in his arm
the touch of his fingers
it's not right
to live a lie
pretending everything is fine
when it needs to be one
when I need to say goodbye
when I need to choose
between true love and obligation
it's not right
to feel so happy and blissful
while lust has taken over me
it's not right
to lie to their face
and tell them their the only one
when hours ago
I was kissing his hungry lips
feeling his hungry skin
gazing into his hungry eyes
it's not right
to multitask
to cover up mistakes
with sweet caresses and lies
to love someone so much it hurts
while being unfaithful
while engaging in pleasure
for one's own selfish needs
it's not right to kiss them
when the taste of his mouth
sits fresh on my tongue
to hold their face
when the pressure of him
is felt all through my skin
it's not right
to say "I love you"
after rushing back
from time with him
it's not right
to make myself believe
what i'm doing is natural
like it's the only choice i have
when really
I am betraying the one I cannot bear to lose
the one that has never so much
as uttered an insult
or turned the other cheek
the one that holds me in my arms
lets me cry out my guilt
without even asking why
the one who listens when i'm hurt
who shares their deepest secrets
who is so good to me
when i deserve nothing
it's not right
to repeat history
the history that caused my family
so much pain
it's not right
to sit there
and have two identities
one as a lover
the other as a traitor
and tell myself that
it's the only way out
that it's the only option
that won't hurt anyone
it's not right
it's wrong
and forever I will be tainted
impure by his hand