Pushing It

Sept. 16, 2012

You tell me I've been pushing it.
How is this so?
I've only acted as most expect
In ways I'm supposed to show.
Perhaps in your experience
You were sure you knew
The most love someone could show you,
But I don't think you truly do.
Your life is no different than mine
Except for the fact that I've finally made room
And let another life consume.
And, I assumed, that you had done so too.
In this long time that you've been gone,
Something changed.  You've moved on?
Why could you not have been honest with me?
That I wasn't as important as I thought I would be.
We shared so much before you left:
Mind, body, and soul.
I remember and miss it.
You remember and dismiss it.
You gave me what you thought would pacify me.
Didn't you know I would see it as b*llsh*t?
I opened the doors to make it right
Without making a fight.
But, you did not take it.
Only when convenient for you.
I just hope you did not fake it.
I have been patient as one could be
In the commitment you made to me.
I thought that we could make it.

Jen