Life Without Emotion

First girl I loved eleven to thirteen
While three months pregnant cheated on me
And with all of the people it could have been
Who'd of guessed it'd be my best friend

Convinced her I cheated got her drunk made her cry
Then she left to England without even a bye
Found out a week later through a letter she wrote
That explained every detail quote for quote

I blacked out for three weeks and did things I regret
Waking up on the streets crying and upset
Vowing never again will I look like a fool
I'd never again be used as a tool

And I took advantage of my high IQ
While emotion was a word I no longer knew
And I began to cook meth of such high quality
I could sell at one fifty a gram easily

So I began to supply every dealer in town
Making millions selling pound after pound
Having no emotion I got so much done
Never in my life had I had so much fun

I could call you a bitch and slap you around
And you'd still kiss my feet with your hands on the ground
For I was the man with the drugs and the power
And with one word from me you'd disappear in an hour

And that is what made me the worst of the worst
For a man without emotion is nothing but a curse
I could torture your family - watch you squirm and scream
Beyond your worst and wildest dream

One after the other they each get their turn
And you hear their screams as you watch them burn
For I'd leave you alive to suffer it all
Then watch as your brains splatter the wall

For to me it was business just a point to prove
For respect is only earned when you make your move
You become so feared you scare even the best
Respect is everything f*ck all the rest

And without emotion involved you become so fearless
For you have no attachments - people are worthless
And with five cars worth over two hundred grand
And thirty-two thousand in gold within hand

You can f*ck any girl you want for the fun
Then toss'em out like garbage the moment you're done
And still have a new girl or two everyday
Begging for a chance to be your next lay

For with access to unlimited drugs and cash
It was easy to thrown them away like trash
Only problem with this life is everyones fake
A life only an emotionless man can take

For that's when I received in the mail a letter
That reminded me I had a girl, a daughter
And I fell to the ground - I broke down I cried
And right there and then a part of me died

For as soon as you let your emotions go
And you begin to care about someone you know
You madde your mistake and can no longer be you
For you have a weakness that if anyone knew

That you've made yourself vulnerable
That you're no longer untouchable
People think they can take your place
For they want your power, your name and your face

So I gave up my business - chose to retire
I was only sixteen and a millionaire
And I wanted out while I could - while I was still young
For I all ready couldn't live with the things I had done

Though I convinced myself I did what I had to
And for the first time in three years I didn't know what to do
I was lost and confused and in so much pain
Having finally realized what I did to gain

POWER RESPECT and all the MONEY I had
So many memories of so much bad
I broke down and I lost control
Eventually waking up in a hospital

Where I was held on a seventy-two hour hold
A Fifty-One-Fifty is what it was called
And for those who don't know and need it defined
It's code for an attempted suicide

And though at the time I didn't know at all
That was just the beginning of my downfall
Three weeks I was in 'til I got released
To find out all my connections had ceased

The people I thought would always be there
Turned out once I'm out they don't even care
In the end only two stuck around
Everything that gos up in the end must come down

Two of ten thousand it hit me hard
Bur two beats nothing - twos a start
And I let them know just how much it meant
To be there when it mattered - to hear me vent

As the only two who stuck through to the end
I will remember them both as my only true friends
And now though there's so much more I could say
I feel it best left for another day

For I'm so tired now and I've said enough
In fact I feel I've said way too much
So if you were hoping for more - oh well, tough
But don't worry about it - I'll keep in touch