Chasing The Tail

You didn't want to be around me,
and I wasn't going to make you.
It was only your decision to flee,
and far away from me you flew.

You thought you knew me best,
and refused to take a look inside.
Judged me along with the rest,
with my heart split open wide.

Many wished upon my death,
disappointed their own lives.
Conspiring under their breath,
seeding their misdirected lies.

Brooding, seething from within,
because here yet, I am alive.
Waiting for faithfully to begin,
of course I am going to survive.

Good hearts around every corner,
with plenty left to graciously give.
With caring you are an owner,
enriching a precious life to live.

When you can't stand, I lift you up,
and you catch my stumbling fall.
When I'm thirsty, you fill my cup,
balance in the universe is all.

Ups and downs, they come around,
that shouldn't be such a surprise.
Overcoming the challenges found,
not leading to our fateful demise.

Reality is to be honestly faced,
running away solves nothing.
Following behind, never erased,
staying away because of something.

Spending forever chasing your tail,
just because you know me better.
So afraid that something may fail,
if we stayed somewhat together.

Remember, I'm not the one who left,
I just kept trying, giving it my best.
I didn't open up this gaping rift,
I built this bridge, across the crest.

Blame me because I tried to give,
when you wouldn't desire to receive.
While I truly desired for you to live,
wishing only that you could believe.

No longer standing, I sit here alone,
disappointed in disbelief, and I cry.
Shattered and shaken, to the bone,
making the decision, not to just die.

~greyeyesgabriel 2015