Alone

I live my life in so much pain
And have no one but myself to blame
Besides my family and all of my friends
I could make up excuses to no end

But whether or not it was my intention
In the end it was still my decision
To live my life the way that I do
Alone and depressed for it's what I'm used to

Always down and never happy
Wishing someone would just slap me
And tell me that everything will be okay
As of right now no more delay
And that I'd actually believe the words that they say
That tomorrow will bring me a better day

The problem is that it doesn't matter
It wouldn't work for it's never better
For I have no one who's there for me
The way that I need someone to be

Someone around at the end of the night
Who holds me and tells me it'll be alright
Someone I talk to and someone I trust
And someone who wants me just as much
Someone who likes the same things that I do
And SUCCEEDS in cheering me up when I'm blue

Problem is whenever a someone is found
I start feeling worthless and mess up somehow
Accidental ofcourse - not my intention
To keep my life full of depression

It's just everyone is better off without me
So why bring someone into my misery
That's the feeling that I wish I could break
To go out, be happy, make up for mistakes

But the problem is I need that someone first
Before my emotions cause me to burst
I need to experience joy and know that it's real
So I can stop being scared and finally feel

What it's like to be happy
To once again be me
Without the depression and anxiety
What a feeling that would be

And it's a feeling so close yet so far away
For I'm always alone at the end of the day