Daydreaming Nightmares

Asleep or dead, alive or awake, it's all the same blame game,
An endless continuum, channeling by a spectrum, my nightmares are black, daydreams are back when sacked, because harrowing injustice has me walking collapsed.

So far gone within this song,
my conscience reverberates every mistake,
I dream without a sound screaming silently behind stonewalls,
Wide awake reliving every mistake,
I'm pushing on because I'm consciously  strong, if I fail children will fall.

Every day giving loving support standing tall,
Trauma bonded with cancelling willpower no one can know I'm about to fall,
Conditioning silent treatments confusing reality to a stand still,
My spirit can't move, can't keep up,
My heart stopped beating which gives me shakes and chills.

Closing my eyes sometimes I spring awake,
sometimes that premonition is a mistake to partake,
a nightmare casts over as if reality can relate.

What is really real and why am I supposed to be here?
Who could enforce blasphemy to cast a shadow so dark that death would fear?

Asleep I don't feel the pain but I experience shivering terrors,
Awake the lunacies existence to blame for being so insane,
withering ashamed knowing it could have changed, I passively own my errors.

The torment of what I know carried into what I think,
Each sleep is but a blink as I am pushed to the edge,
Fiction or non fiction, that's the real question here,
Driven by compassion entwined with anxiety,
The mind tricks by many lost souls set a precedent,
I'm more fragile than I thought, two sizes smaller than a filament.
Making it through nightly terrors is a true testament,
If only everyone knew how bad the pain butchered inside whats left of it,
Daydreaming nightmares reward her culmination to enslave,
this much is eminent to carry my will through and through,
Before I lose control I need my nightmares to bring me back to a relaxed confusion heartbreaking reality.

The devil invaded inside, angels vacant because I lied,
I've been tricked and Halloween is daily, the loss of reality has my skin scaly.