Trapped

Trapped

Trapped in my own mind. Unable to escape. Filled with self hate and resentment. What do I deserve if not this. It eats my insides like a disease. Untreatable with no signs of stopping. No amount of prayer or positive self talk can remove it. The only thing that will end it is death. Sweet death, the release I’ve been looking for my whole life. When the bad outweighs the good, what’s that point of it all. Maybe, I can reset.

My smile conceals the rage within. Is this me? Perhaps, I should let go. So at least both of me can be one. No more hiding. Whether it’s liked or not. The pain it would inflict is wicked.

Inconsolable pain just below the surface.

F*ck you and your thoughts about me. You imperfect bitch. Walking with your chin up as if you have everything figured out. Truth is you’re just as wicked as me.

Some of us have this wicked battle brewing at depths we’ve created within us. Caged. Surrounded, scarred and calloused. Blistered and puss filled.