The Call

I received a call last night from my son
I love you I miss you
God look what I’ve done

Mommy mommy please come home to me tonight
I give up I surrender I can no longer fight

Piercing cries his feeling secure departed
Did I see his pain or even care when it started

A mixture of loving and hurtful words spoken
I look at the bear he once gave as a token

A token of his love and sincere affection
I turn away from the mirror cant bear my reflection

Do you love me mommy what did I do wrong?
God please by your grace let me be strong

He needs me. I’m his mom. That’s what I’m supposed to do. Right?
Instead, Why do I continue to choose the path with destruction and death in sight?

End it. If I end it he will eventually forget won’t he?
Why torture him and prevent him from being the best he can be?

A tortured soul not his, but MINE slipping into the depths of no return
It’ll be over soon if you don’t stop you’ll end up in an urn

Mommy why did you go and leave me don’t you love me anymore?
I was always too selfish and chose to let the devil settle the score

I crumble to the floor when I hear his cries asking why God why?
I don’t love you! I don’t even love myself
I can no longer lie

I hate you. Don’t ever come home. I’ll just pretend you are dead.
He doesn’t understand too young to realize. It’s time to go. The nurse called me to bed.

Terrified and filled with fear of the unknown
Words are just meaningless he needs to be shown

Hope once I fix myself and I’m able to make amends
Maybe he will accept me back I guess it all depends

Too many times I left. Chose to walk away from what was right.
The darkness prevailed but I’m hanging on with all my might.

Please forgive me and know someday I’ll tell you why
Like I said you’re dead to me this is my last goodbye

He hangs up the phone the call has ended
Two lives forever changed two hearts unmended