Package Tour To Heaven

David Gabriel Caplan 1948 (Glasgow)

I booked a holiday to Heaven
the brochure looked inviting
no drunken louts or cell phones
pollution free, no fighting

But what a shock awaits you
in this "Goody Goody" Hell
all the food is vegan
and there's censorship as well

No smoking, No drinking
No animals allowed
(you can get away with kissing
if you sneak behind a cloud)

You're expected to say prayers
morning, noon and night
and the dress code never varies;
everyone wears white

When I wanted to complain
about how the place was run
they took me to the bosses;
an old bugger and his son

I told them with defiance
my holiday was hell
and I'd never ever come again
but I guess they knew that well !
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Submitted on September 27, 2020

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David Gabriel Caplan

Brought up by a Jewish father and a French Catholic mother. Both of whom relegated religion to the category of " fairy tales." I thank them for their wisdom. I have had several interesting jobs in my life, both in the UK and in Australia, but the last 27 years before I retired were spent as a University Print Manager. I have been writing poetry since a child. My main interest is in Humour and Flash Fiction. I have one book to my credit, with two others which I am too lazy to do anything about! more…

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    "Package Tour To Heaven" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 17 Jan. 2021. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/59030/package-tour-to-heaven>.

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