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A Conversation with Satan

I just received a call, and to my surprise, it was an unfamiliar caller. It was Satan. Can you believe that? Satan just called me.
And this how the conversation went:

Me: “Hello?”

Satan: “How are you Theme?”

Me: “I'm good, Who is this?”
  (I tried, but didn't recognize the voice)

Satan: “Satan.”

Me: “What do you want?”
  (I said this out of surprise, because if Satan calls, you can be sure, he wants something)

Satan: “Since you have called yourself a genius, Theme, I decided to ask you for some help.”
(Helping the devil! This is interesting.)

Me: “Yeah?”

Satan: “How can I convince people, to worship God, so I can deal with the over population in Hell?”

Me: “If you can find a way to get T.D Jakes, T.B Joshua and Pastor Christ to hell. They can lead the souls.”

Satan: “How can I do that?”

Me: “Find a way, to fool God.”

Satan: “Is that possible?”

Me: “Man... How can you ask me that kind of question? I’ve never been to heaven, you’re the one who has been there. Plus, you know much more about God, than I do. And what's that noise I'm hearing in the background?”

Satan: “It’s Hitler. He has been celebrating since Trump became president of America.”

Me: “May I ask you question, my young man?”
 (I'm Trying to show confidence by calling the devil "my young man". You know, speaking with the devil makes you feel important. At least, that’s how it made me feel)

Satan: “Sure, Theme.”

Me: “Will you tell me when the second coming will happen?”

Satan: “Theme, I don't want to piss God off again, he still wouldn't forgive what I did in the past. I have tried to make him forgive me, but I think the things I did, really got to him, I can't afford to mess with our relationship again.”

Me: “Don't worry too much. I will find a way to make Hell confortable. We can install some air conditions in there, and create a secret hole to heaven, so people can sneak in sometimes, as my contribution to your Kingdom.”
(Speaking as if the devil is my good friend. You see what confidence can do? I now want to mess with God’s plan of a hot hell. That's the problem with the Gen Y.)

Satan: “Yeah Theme, I will support that, especially the air condition idea, because the newcomer's here are acting too fishy. Most of them are from Russia. They are used to cold weather, they just scream all day, That's why I try to make my new virgins pregnant, with my Antichrist.”

Then I hear a very loud noise, in the background.
And Satan said "Theme, bye for now. We will talk later.”

I took a deep breath trying to figure out if this entire conversation was real.

Me: “OMG, I need to post this on Facebook and hear from my friends!”
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Submitted by Theme on June 16, 2018

2:39 min read
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