I Miss Him Already”

In the early dark
He is mostly silent, at first
Amazing considering his height and the size of his hands
Big as an NFL wide receiver’s, I wonder
He talks, a little agitated this morning
Thinking about the test and projects due
And a trip he’s considering taking with friends
Holding my coffee
I say something to try to ease his stress
He smiles, a bit frustrated
He has his own ideas now—and rightfully so
But he forgives me, I think,
Long dad-habits being hard to break
I turned the stairwell light off after he left
Out the front door
And then turned it back on
Unwilling to leave it dark
In case he returned to grab something he forgot
That’s the way I see life with him now
He has a full year of high school left
But I miss him already