I’m Sorry

I’ve spent my whole life,
Just trying to fit in,
But time after time,
I miserably fail,
People look at me like I’m a penguin in the Sahara desert, or a fish out of water, I don’t belong,
And damn, how the shoe has never fit any better.

My peers stare at and whisper about me,
I walk with my head down hoping I’m not noticed in the crowd,
But each time, I’m easily pointed out,
I’ve spent numerous nights, crying myself to sleep,
I have shed my tears because of you,
And yet you continue to stomp on me like an empty soda can,
Each interaction is slowly inching me closer to suicide,
And all I can help to think is,
Maybe things would be better if I just disappeared.

Adults nag at me, saying I’m not hated,
But they will never know what it feels like to have people groan because they’ve been paired with you,
Or laugh because their friends are in a group with you.

No matter how hard I try,
I can’t do or say anything to change things,
All I can say is I’m sorry,
I’m sorry I wanted to be included,
I’m sorry I walked past you,
I’m sorry I looked at you,
I’m sorry I spoke to you,
I’m sorry I sat next to you,
I’m sorry I added to your statement,
I’m sorry I don’t look like a vogue model in the magazines,
I’m sorry I simply exist.