The Desperation of Loss

The tightest you ever hugged me
Was when you knew you lost me.

Your arms wrapped around me,
Like cold steel bars
Trying to contain something
By crushing it completely,
And yet it was still slipping.

No feelings possessed me.
I became numb to it.
After months of enslavement
You no longer controlled
The emotions that had been suffering.

As you grabbed at me
With the desperation
To save what was already gone,
I finally felt everything
That my heart had been desiring.

For months desperation filled me.
I was left constantly filling
The cracks that had formed.
You smiled, glad you didn’t
Have to be the one trying.

The cracks had bested me
As caverns filled
The space between us.
I had worked hard
But was tired of fighting.

The desperation that filled me
Had transferred to you.
It’s seen through the claw marks
You left all over my jacket.
You finally cared you were losing.