Cheer up

Cheer up.

Two words which when heard both anger and dissapoint but only seem to produce a wry smile as though to say good advice. Cheer up.

To live this way is to create two versions of yourself. One smiles, laughs, chats, hugs, kisses all under a facade of which you dare not let anyone else see. The other sitting in complete darkness even when the sun shines down upon your face. Cheer up they say.

Becoming a master of disguise with only a smile. Living two lives, frantically working to keep them apart, not letting them become one person. Cheer up they say.

You feel this way as days go by, weeks, years. Holding a burden so heavy on your shoulders. Becoming Atlas holding up the sky, not allowing everything to fall. Cheer up they say.

Talk. I can't talk, what will people say, what will they think, how will I be viewed. People will laugh. A plethora of reasons crash like a wave over jagged rocks as to why you should not. You fear those now famous words. Cheer up.

Talk. Now is the day, who do I talk to, who will understand? The moment comes with a mountain of energy building up inside, stood at the precipice ready to pear over the edge, Fearing those ill fated words. Cheer up.

The words come out, attempting to fashion them into a coherent sentence hoping your chosen subject will understand. They look, you look. Silence. What seems like an hour, seconds roll by. Sitting anticipating the rhetoric you have heard so many times in so many scenarios. Cheer up.

The response comes. How can I help? Suddenly that darkness you have sat in for so long cracks and you are consumed in light. The sky you have been holding up for so long now no long burdens your shoulders.

One moment, one conversation, one friend, one hug, one laugh, one kiss. Although the road remains long and fraut with dangers a path is now visible and a future possible.

Cheer up they say. Speak up I say.