Pain

Trapped inside my own body and mind, I feel like a prisoner of my own darkness. Every day feels like an eternity as I claw for a way out of this seemingly endless pit. Despite the laughter or smiles that I put on to hide what's really going on, silent tears stream down my face as if they are trying to find their own escape from the pain. The weight of my emotions feels crushing, making it hard to even get out of bed in the morning. My thoughts race with anxiety about the future while also being haunted by memories of past traumas. At this point I kind of feel nothing at all maybe it's all in my head after all.. All is numb.. I want to cry but nothing comes out....  The years of pain and it still goes despite anything that is in its way... But there is hope God is with us just pray and have hope. Broken dreams, shattered family, sunny days turn into rain and thunderstorms. Broken hearts are all that's left. I'm still fixing all the cracks. Am I more than just some sad excuse. I always feel like a burden. Too much wrong medically, physically, and emotionally.