Santa Goes Bankrupt



Santa's not coming on the 25th, I promise you that,
He's much too busy eating snacks,
Well, how do you think he got so fat,
He can't fit through the chimney, until skinny, he's dieting and won't be back,
So make no noise little girls and boys,
Until Santa lose some weight, when you awake, there will be no toys,

The Reindeers tried but Santa got too big for them to fly,
Donner has arthritis and comet and cupid have weak bones,
Rudolph is strong and smart but can't do it alone,
So maybe next year he'll give you Holiday Cheer,
Santa's still eating Thanksgiving Turkey all while drinking A beer,
Mrs Clause ain't no better, she's drinking and won't knit the elves a new Christmas sweater,
So Prancer and Dancer decided to wear red and green leather,
Vixen and Blixten are boycotting Christmas altogether,
So they all vacated the North Pole for blue skies and warm weather,

The truth is; Santa's not on a diet and hasn't gained weight,
Although he's still fat, and loves cookies and snacks,
He's been giving and giving y'all for years but this year we all need to give back,
Santa's has gone bankrupt and all his toy money is gone,
He tried to get a loan, Mrs Clause earrings he even tried to pawn,
The Reindeers were hungry and had no food to eat,
Some Reindeers reluctantly left and decided on foraging
With no heat for weeks, the Elves could no longer take the cold,
They met with Homer in Springfield and all got drinks at Moe's,
Don't hate the messenger when this is how the story goes,

So, there will be no more Christmas trees, Carolers, Presents or Gifts,
This years Christmas is undergoing A major metamorphosis,
Every year Santa  supplies your kids with all they want and wish
Now Santa's pockets are dry and could use a fork lift
So let them cry let them ask why, let them beg and plead,
Santa said hell no to your spoiled milk and your hard chocolate chip cookies,
Y'all want gifts oh please, so much have been giving with ease,
Do y'all ever stop to ask Saint Nick is there anything that he needs.
 
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Submitted by JhainDoh on December 18, 2023

2:08 min read
40

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABACDD XXXEEFFFF XBCGGXXXBX XXXXXHHX
Closest metre Iambic heptameter
Characters 2,023
Words 407
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 6, 9, 10, 8

JhainDoh

Death is sad but I want to explore the beauty in death. I am most free when I write so I will write ugly beautiful truths. I hope to inspire teach and motivate through poetry. The Poetry Form is my Coinage known as Unorthodox Rhythmic which is a melodic form of writing. Currently I am a Song Writer also on Reverberation. Writing is my world andI write Advertisments/Commercials/& Comedy. Skies the limit and beyond write what you like. more…

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1 Comment
  • Jewoo525
    As I read this poem, I got a good chuckle at the various cultural references and grounded-fantastical elements that added to the narrative style. The first line revealed to me, or perhaps was written in the intentional perspective of, someone in a period of their life (25 years old probably?) who has become largely disillusioned with society's rituals and faced with the harder realities of budding independent adulthood. I too, am just turning around that age and this poem resonated with me as it makes me think about who the holidays truly are for. At the awkward age of being too old to receive gifts, yet nowhere near the place of being able to gift all of my loved ones freely, the "spirit" of Christmas eludes me...

    I think this poem captures those frustrations in a fun, free way; that, if anything, highlights the hypocrisy of perpetuating these ritualistic expectations we have of each other around this time of the year- while simultaneously collectively forgetting what Christmas is all about! Fun writing, poignant submission. Keep writing!
     
    LikeReply 14 months ago
    • JhainDoh
      Thank you I'm so glad you got a chance to laugh about my Christmas dilemma.
      LikeReply4 months ago

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"Santa Goes Bankrupt" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/178215/santa-goes-bankrupt>.

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