Santa Goes Bankrupt
Santa's not coming on the 25th, I promise you that,
He's much too busy eating snacks,
Well, how do you think he got so fat,
He can't fit through the chimney, until skinny, he's dieting and won't be back,
So make no noise little girls and boys,
Until Santa lose some weight, when you awake, there will be no toys,
The Reindeers tried but Santa got too big for them to fly,
Donner has arthritis and comet and cupid have weak bones,
Rudolph is strong and smart but can't do it alone,
So maybe next year he'll give you Holiday Cheer,
Santa's still eating Thanksgiving Turkey all while drinking A beer,
Mrs Clause ain't no better, she's drinking and won't knit the elves a new Christmas sweater,
So Prancer and Dancer decided to wear red and green leather,
Vixen and Blixten are boycotting Christmas altogether,
So they all vacated the North Pole for blue skies and warm weather,
The truth is; Santa's not on a diet and hasn't gained weight,
Although he's still fat, and loves cookies and snacks,
He's been giving and giving y'all for years but this year we all need to give back,
Santa's has gone bankrupt and all his toy money is gone,
He tried to get a loan, Mrs Clause earrings he even tried to pawn,
The Reindeers were hungry and had no food to eat,
Some Reindeers reluctantly left and decided on foraging
With no heat for weeks, the Elves could no longer take the cold,
They met with Homer in Springfield and all got drinks at Moe's,
Don't hate the messenger when this is how the story goes,
So, there will be no more Christmas trees, Carolers, Presents or Gifts,
This years Christmas is undergoing A major metamorphosis,
Every year Santa supplies your kids with all they want and wish
Now Santa's pockets are dry and could use a fork lift
So let them cry let them ask why, let them beg and plead,
Santa said hell no to your spoiled milk and your hard chocolate chip cookies,
Y'all want gifts oh please, so much have been giving with ease,
Do y'all ever stop to ask Saint Nick is there anything that he needs.
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Submitted by JhainDoh on December 18, 2023
- 2:08 min read
- 40 Views
Quick analysis:
Scheme | ABACDD XXXEEFFFF XBCGGXXXBX XXXXXHHX |
---|---|
Closest metre | Iambic heptameter |
Characters | 2,023 |
Words | 407 |
Stanzas | 4 |
Stanza Lengths | 6, 9, 10, 8 |
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"Santa Goes Bankrupt" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/178215/santa-goes-bankrupt>.
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