Responsibility



I made you as a friend, which is over
Cause you made it tougher
I told you what I had been planning
But you keep banning
Y'know I wanna end it all
But you watched me fall
You said I am not allowed to say that again
Why don't you give me a chance?
To explain, to elaborate, to explicate
Are you asking me to accept my fate?
You blow the whistle on me
Told my parents about it
Did you know what I have been going through?
Do I look like a fool?
All this time I tried to know you more
But you? Turn the whole thing like a war
When you tried to explain,
You asked me not to complain
You said you had to do it cause it's your responsibility
How about my suicide probability?
Oh so your responsibility is to put me on the edge of the cliff?
So that your work requirement can be achieved?
I can tell you that YOUR RESPONSIBILITY DIDN'T MAKE MY LIFE BETTER BUT HARDER
MY THOUGHTS OF DEATH BECAME STRONGER
Now I don't know what to do
Recalling a sentence that said by you
"You chose to tell me. That means you wanted me tocall your parents. Don't put the blame on me. That'sclearly your fault. Think logically"
I know, I know
It's my fault and the blames' on me
I didn't blame you
I know your job is way important than me
I understand why you were doing that
But I can't stop thinking how you betrayed me
I thought we were friends
I thought you were the one I can rely, depend on
So I told you
Apparently, it's a wrong choice
Body shivers, heart pounding, head drowning
I'm not well. No one can quell
I don't wanna live
I can't relief
Hope this is my death note
I was too bold...

About this poem

I was close to a teacher who I then told her I wanted to end it all. Looking back, obviously it's the worst choice. I just thought she's my friend. That meant I could tell her anything I want. I was too bold. Life is opposite. She reported me as a sucidal case to the school. She made another teacher reported it to my parents. I somehow always trust people that i shouldn't trust. JUST LIKE THIS TEACHER. She said it's her responsibility to do that, she ain't gotten any other choices. But in my way, she can try to understand what I was going through first. I AM FRUSTRATED. I understand this is her job and I crossed the line which blames' of course on me. Her choice and my choice didn't make my life better. 

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Written on November 26, 2023

Submitted by charmainewpc on December 16, 2023

1:41 min read
0

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABBCCDEFFGHIJKKLLGGMNAAIIGOGIGPGQRISBTUVWX
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,570
Words 323
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 43

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    "Responsibility" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/177935/responsibility>.

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