What it felt like

The first day, I felt my knees, go weak, and the world trembled below me, I felt hearts form in my pupils and my breath was stolen I knew that this was love. But no love is happily ever after, what I thought was breathless love was really a way to make me suffocate. Shouts and screams of rage from endless insecurity’s, my eyes were now swollen from tears and my mind clouded with mistrust and regret. Am I the monster he made me out to be? Sugar coated and lies unfolded the mistrust was real and the love was fake. The monster was we, broken and tore me apart. This world has nothing left to offer me, second chance I gave and I thought it would change but the lies came to me during endless thinking, insecuritys haunting me. Till I found that I wasn’t enough. Couldn’t speak, hands round my neck like a snake trapping its victim, the whole time I thought I was loved. Still till this day even apart I’m missing the monster I loved so much. Someone who once made me feel like much but has now moved on leaving me in the dust, regretting and missing the first day. Angry and torn the clouds in my mind turned  me into the strangling snake ruining any possibility’s of happiness, I can’t take this no more I said, I can’t give you up I said .But he turned away, now at this moment the key was in me. Unlock the doors, set me free and move on like I’m supposed to be.