Ledge

The sun is glaring down on me, it's windy but not cold.
Nature is so beautiful, so calming.
I sit on a ledge pondering
Should I jump?
To die with so much beauty in my eyes.
The thought passes but lingers in the back of my mind.
I wonder if people can see me if they care.
When they drive by do they wonder?
Wonder who I am
What I’m doing
I do.
As I watch from my ledge, I wonder.
Where they are driving too
What their lives are like
I love the loud silence of nature
The wind blowing through the trees
The subtle flapping of birds making their way back home.
The thought creeps back in
Would I survive if I jumped?
Maybe.
The thought passes again.
The wind feels ominous and the clouds are dark now.
I hear crows maybe ravens
It's getting cold now
It's back.
Jump.
Maybe I wouldn’t survive
Maybe.
Attempting to die is not the hard part, failing is.
Waking up and realizing that you are still here.
Still miserable.
Do you think anyone would stop?
Notice?
I’m cold now
My nose is running and my eyes fill with tears.
I dont wanna leave
I have nowhere to go
No home.
No destination.
All I can do is sit and wonder
Wonder if strangers see me.
Wonder where everyone is going.
Doing.
What am I doing?
Maybe jumping wouldn't be so bad
My body would be embraced by nature.
My eyes would see beauty before closing forever
My skin would feel the freeness of the wind.
And my soul
My soul would be at peace.
Not yet perhaps.
I think I will just sit and ponder for a while instead.