Life teach me

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Life teach me.

Through the thin air of remembering teach me life how to be kind loving and grateful. My angry boils over sometimes at just the thought of wrong doing and in my haste am I an unknowing participant in the down fold darkness of bursting out in hostility. Count your blessings and does that always work. Does that remind you of what you don't have and your short comings. We all have them so why should mine be more trying than others. We all always know that it's wrong to lash out to anyone within reach and why should it be their problem anyway. Giving the unfavorable energy just makes it worse and lingers around the neck of innocence and spreads the devastation and breaks others down to the gutter. Does misery really love company. How dare I be that shallow  towards the well being of others. Can focusing on the goodness of others bring me out of it or make it worse. Finally after my tantrum and acceptance I level off and deal with the collateral damage I may have created. As I look at the battle field am I happy of the victims I may have created. Why is it that when joyful there is no question in me about sharing that and when I'm the opposite of joyful I don't think twice about bringing others down with that. I can reach out when hostile or sad to someone for help but not to bring them down with me that in my recovery faze gives not needed apologies to have to make. How many times in my life am I going to repeat this devastation with sharing the explosion and when there is a time to be selfish the time that I'm angry should be the time. Maintain a level of calm as life sometimes bares down on us and our first focus should be to not take it out on others. Contain the emotion and frustration if letting it out is going to damage someone else. Go for a walk scream into a pillow do what ever harmless to others action is needed because no one should be involved in our pain other than a willing conversation about it. If there are no takers in that effort than you must work it out among yourself. No matter how experienced in life we are the demons that want you to destroy someone else with your negative vibe is never OK. Don't be a child.