The Costs



Everything is happening.
I wonder, what is happiness?
All I know is that,
sometimes, I don't feel sad.

But, when "not sad" is happening,
I don't think that it's happiness.
All I know is that,
I'm numb to all the bad.

And just because I'm functioning,
does not mean that I'm letting in
anyone or anything
I love.

The nothingness is obstructing
my power to feel connection,
to anyone or anything
I love.

And then there is the emptiness.
The guilt and shame of what is left,
the self-awareness of
all that's been lost.

I'm wondering, what's free among the costs?

I'm wondering, what's free?

I'm not.

About this poem

The poem expresses the costs of mental illness and the internal loudness of the silent struggles within when everything appears fine externally.

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Written on November 01, 2023

Submitted by alid.26887 on November 04, 2023

42 sec read
47

Quick analysis:

Scheme abCd abCd axaE axaE bxex x x
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 603
Words 131
Stanzas 7
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 1, 1

Ali Doyle

Born and raised in Pittsburgh, PA, I discovered the power of poetry as a solace during my battles with internal struggles of depression and feelings of isolation. My poetry is an emotional journey, drawing from the depths of my relationship with myself and with others, feelings of inadequacy and the weight of disappointment. For me, writing serves as a vehicle to navigate complex emotions and articulate the unspoken. I aim to create a sense of connection through my words, a lifeline for those who feel alone in their struggles. In doing so, I too feel more connected, more whole. more…

All Ali Doyle poems | Ali Doyle Books

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    "The Costs" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/175604/the-costs>.

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