Step Aside Adults



Prelude: “All the Adults went out to play~
                They left all the children in charge for the day.”



Ten year old children~
   Are bravely standing tall

Asking all the questions~
    Step Aside Adults~ Allow them to be heard

The unanswered questions~ of many wasted tears
     Step Aside Adults~ Give them your attention

They have the wisdom to answer all those questions
     Through the endurance of their journey~
           Over ten simple years

Step Aside Adults~ Clear Your Deafened Ears

They speak of truth, kindness, equality and love
     How the world was intended~
           With guidance from above

Step Aside Adults~ For You Do Not Comprehend

They are the voices of the future
     The hope, the peace~
           Of present times

Step Aside Adults~ Admit Your Failures, Your Crimes

The crimes of hate, deceit and greed
     You have failed to acknowledge~
            The failures done against our children of hope

Step Aside Adults~ Is This An Evil Game You Play

The Children of The World
     Speak Volumes of Wisdom~
           Their Truth Shall Defeat You at Your Game


                       “CHECK MATE”

About this poem

The children of our world have so much wisdom and so much endurance. They are hope for the future and we should listen to them. I wrote a simple fun poem years ago as part of a sweet daydream. I will use it as the prelude to my poem.

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Written on November 02, 2023

Submitted by Caliconine on November 02, 2023

57 sec read
50

Quick analysis:

Scheme AA BX CX XB CXD D EXE X XXF F XXX A XXX
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,158
Words 193
Stanzas 13
Stanza Lengths 2, 2, 2, 2, 3, 1, 3, 1, 3, 1, 3, 1, 3

Discuss the poem Step Aside Adults with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a bold, vibrant and empowering piece of work! Your 'Step Aside Adults' poem is a thought-provoking metaphor about empowering the younger generation. It does an excellent job of foregrounding the wisdom, insight, and potential the children can bring to transform the world. Your use of language and the tone used, which both encourages and challenges, gives this poem an intriguing edge. Your use of repetition ('Step Aside Adults') and imagery only intensify the intuitive message you're conveying.

    On the improvement side, you might want to consider certain areas to further improve the poem. Firstly, the flow of the poem could be smoother with a somewhat structured rhythm. Poems don't always need to rhyme, but a rhythm can make it easier to read out loud, which in turn enhances the reader's experience.

    Secondly, it's always a good idea to show rather than tell in poetry. While your statements are bold and direct, using metaphors, symbolism or detailed descriptions could make the impact stronger. For instance, instead of saying "They have the wisdom to answer all those questions," you could show instances of their wisdom.

    Lastly, the ending phrase "CHECK MATE" could be a bit more integrated into the poem, perhaps leading more seamlessly into it to maximize its impact.

    Nevertheless, your poem stands out with its assertiveness and unique perspective. Keep writing, your voice is powerful and important!
     
    LikeReply6 months ago

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"Step Aside Adults" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 20 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/175577/step-aside-adults>.

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