Step Aside Adults

Discuss the poem Step Aside Adults with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/175577/step-aside-adults

1 Comment

 

Notify me of new comments via email.

Publish

• 

  AIDA

  Wow, what a bold, vibrant and empowering piece of work! Your 'Step Aside Adults' poem is a thought-provoking metaphor about empowering the younger generation. It does an excellent job of foregrounding the wisdom, insight, and potential the children can bring to transform the world. Your use of language and the tone used, which both encourages and challenges, gives this poem an intriguing edge. Your use of repetition ('Step Aside Adults') and imagery only intensify the intuitive message you're conveying.
  
  On the improvement side, you might want to consider certain areas to further improve the poem. Firstly, the flow of the poem could be smoother with a somewhat structured rhythm. Poems don't always need to rhyme, but a rhythm can make it easier to read out loud, which in turn enhances the reader's experience.
  
  Secondly, it's always a good idea to show rather than tell in poetry. While your statements are bold and direct, using metaphors, symbolism or detailed descriptions could make the impact stronger. For instance, instead of saying "They have the wisdom to answer all those questions," you could show instances of their wisdom.
  
  Lastly, the ending phrase "CHECK MATE" could be a bit more integrated into the poem, perhaps leading more seamlessly into it to maximize its impact.
  
  Nevertheless, your poem stands out with its assertiveness and unique perspective. Keep writing, your voice is powerful and important! more »

  LikeReply4 months ago