Living hell

As I slipped and slid down the devils door
I was destitute to the core
Feeling demonic and empty inside
I dreamed often I had died
A sense of missing God's love
Traveling down and not above
The pain of life I did despise
Yet no tears, no sobbing cries
Carrying on in depths of despair
Any hope or love so rare
So so lonely and on dope
Death seemed better than to cope
I tried to hide from everything
Reached into the sky for a wing
F*ck this place I've gotten self again
Using and manipulating all men
I know the darkness has taken me now
Don't lie and promise, no false vow
Family scapegoat hurt and shame
Playing with life as if it's a game
Will I ever be healed
That is yet to be revealed
My soul the devil does weild
Dying no longer feared
End this empty souls despair
F*ck it I don't even care
Me