Hallucinating in the hall

Everyday I wake up and check for
Something that may never come, I don’t
Know if it will be sweet
I think I will just want more for myself
When it arrives
I will get rid of things until I have
Nothing left, until my clothes can fit
In a bag in the backseat
Get rid of all the dirt under my skin
The water in my head, until I am
Emptied completely
She says everyday I wake up the holy
Spirit grieves for my soul
That is heavy. Sometimes
I am snatched from that hallway again
Into his bedroom, and I know nothing
They put a crib right where he took me
And there is nothing else, I know nothing
But you are my baby
I say as I sleep naked, and I realize
you are not
Clothing. Though you feel it when I
am Day dreaming
Though you linger over my wrists and
My collarbones. Off my shoulder
When I close my eyes
I have nightmares that I am
Only wound. But my daydreams
are magic. Your eyes are
Grey growing black. Bones
showing through skin
When I am with you my body is
exactly the size it is
My hand is the size of your hand
I can touch your ribcage and
Make music
I am not trapped in the
Hallway. My body
is not stretched. I am in the
Bedroom  
The noises you make are
so quiet. All of them I could not
hear across the
Yard. Breathing into my ear
and still it is soft. Everything you
let out is perfect
In my mind you are always
Leaning on something. Torso
exposed. So thin that
the skin on your belly button
is tight
Why did no one tell me this
is Heavenly
That I do not have to
Search for more. That it
Comes and comes